Seven weeks in

We’ve reached that stage of lockdown where #1 has commented on my ‘strong language’. And on one occasion, perhaps more, my family have kindly overlooked the casual dropping in of the F word.

Of course I’m not proud of it. But neither could I help myself either.  It is not just the children who are capable of throwing the odd tantrum and at least I didn’t throw myself full body onto the ground. Tempting as that may seem. Even more tempting was to take myself back to bed.

Today has been another one of those days where not as much as I would have liked has been achieved. But unlike two weeks ago, I finally got my head around the fact that it’s quite alright. I’ll get the work done tomorrow. Schoolwork will get done tomorrow. The ironing will get done tomorrow. Actually the ironing will not get done tomorrow. It will pile up into a fabric mountain like always.

When everyone is in the house and in each other’s company as much as we find ourselves right now, it’s little wonder that the melting pot of emotions can run high. The wise thing to do would be to soothe and diffuse situations like the calm, zen Grown Up parent I aspire to be, instead of react in the same way in my default mode. The trouble is, at times #1, 2 and 3 are a bit too much like me. Indeed. And as much as I like this fact, when you’re having a stand off then that doesn’t go in my favour. No.

Stand offs are not unusual in our household. We all want to win the argument. They just feel magnified and more intense for everyone when there are fewer options to flounce off to. But as quickly as they arise, they can dissipate just as fast. Small children can bounce back from these incidents far better than the Grown Ups who tend to store them up before eruption follows of a seismic size. Possibly that’s just me. I hope you are far better than that.

We are living in extraordinary times. And as much as I thought there’d be lots of free time to fill, I find that there is surprisingly little. The days and weeks can go by quite fast. Already we are in week seven of this odd world and I can see that we have all adapted to this new way of living. The continuation of the working and school week provides the same structure, as difficult as managing all of it together may feel.  Our new weekends are no longer encumbered with parkruns, homework or ferrying small people around so we are at liberty to do as we please.

We have fallen into a new routine of a long family walk exploring new paths around where we live and if there are positives to remember from this time then these moments would be among them. Keeping ourselves entertained has evolved quite naturally now that we have settled into things. Initially, there was quite a lot of activity flying around social media with inventive ideas on how to fill our time. In truth, I barely looked up many of them because I know I have a myriad of half started projects as it is. Why burden myself with more as much as I would love to and acknowledging that has made me feel so much more balanced.

 

As is recognising when it’s time for any one of us to have some ‘me’ time too. The sound of raised voices and frustrated cries is to be expected at times, but I am all for creating a better environment to hear less of it.  And as we all know, enabling friendships to grow is all important. I’m hearing more often from #1, 2 and 3 a request to see if we can go pay this or that friend a window wave. Or if we can arrange a chat with this or that friend. I see them create new games that can be played at this new socially acceptable distance apart. I overhear them recount things they’ve done on Zoom socials and afterwards they feel so much better. In much the same way that Grown Ups do. We all need to talk things through. We all need something that is our thing alone.

As I mentioned earlier on, it’s taken some weeks to accept that I can’t do everything and that I don’t have to. Some of you have been telling me this for awhile but it takes a bit of time to feel it. I think social media has also caught up with the fact that not for everyone is it possible to take more advantage of this downtime in useful ways. Now more than ever is it important to pay less heed to the glossy images on various platforms.

Some new things will be achieved like #3 learning to ride a bike, another good thing to remember from this time and my new foray into home crafting. But if the house is still not decluttered after all this, then I simply advise that you just don’t venture upstairs when you are allowed back in.

I hope you and yours are all in good health and please be kind to yourself.