The here and now and a bit of way back then

I relived my journey to 40 and found there's so much more to say

A very lazy Mother’s Day 

Usually Sundays start early with rugby training for #1 and 2, followed by homework, grocery shopping and other households jobs. 

Today there was none of that. Just as it nicely coincides with Mother’s Day. A morning of lazy starts and breakfast in bed. Followed by high tea with fairly impeccable behaviour from #1, 2 and 3.  

I received three more thoughtfully decorated cards. #1 has continued with the Tie Fighter theme this year. #2 worked hard on hers for two days. #3 could barely contain her excitement yesterday as she informed me she was doing something secret that she wasn’t go to tell me about for Mother’s Day…

This was exactly about as much as I could cope with today. I am so tired right now I should be in bed. In fact I already gave myself another gift of an afternoon nap. No, I’m not hungover. That was last weekend. 

Last night I was doing something wholly virtuous. I was in fact running a 10km race. Which flagged off at 9.35pm. I know! It’s only since running in Singapore that I have come across these running events that take place at all hours. Literally all hours. Think 9.35pm is late, the full marathon flagged off at midnight! 

So anyways, I thought 10km would be ok. It would take about an hour or just over. I can that distance fairly comfortably if I practice and I’ve often ran that far in the early evening so how different could this be? It’s been a long while since I’ve ran in an organised event and I’ve missed it. The sight of seeing other runners heading to the event, soaking up the atmosphere and waiting at the start line. Then of course seeing the Finish line. 


What I hadn’t accounted for is all that adrenaline takes quite a few hours to wear off. Like a good five hours or so after the race. I should have organised the spare room instead of trying to sleep. Hence today felt like a non starter, I wonder how all those marathon runners have spent the day.

So today’s very lazy Mother’s Day has been just the ideal way to spend it and now I need to go to bed. 

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International Women’s Day 2017 – #Beboldforchange

Will you be #Beboldforchange?

I would like to think you will be. 

In the past year, I have realised something very important about the need for women to support other women. To tell them when it’s not acceptable to be spoken to in a particular way. To believe in what is just and fair. To stand up for yourself with confidence and self worth. To enable other women to be strong.

Quite recently, I heard a young woman be berated in such a way that was totally out of order. It was after working hours, a bit late in the evening after a few drinks. What was a pleasant evening turned quickly the other way. I think given the late hour and the beers involved, you may have just left it as it was blaming it on inebriation and emotions running high.

Except what struck me as unacceptable is this young woman’s response.  She said to me, “It’s ok, I’m used to it.” That’s when I needed to say,”Well you shouldn’t be.”

I have been in situations subjected to quite high humiliation in front of an audience and I just let it go. Choosing to believe the words that have been said and just waiting for the moment to pass. Instead of standing up for myself and asking the person spouting the nonsense to get a grip of themselves and just stop or walking away from them. I often wonder what made me stop and take it. I blame it on good manners and respect for hierarchy.

Looking back, I wonder what would have happened if I had called out the behaviour. But in the moment it happens, your mind freezes. When someone feels they have the power to rain down on you, the natural reaction is to make it stop. To curb the vitriol and disappointment directed at you, is it best to say nothing and wait for it to blow over.

Be bold for change.

Let’s begin by just being bold. 
Be bold to believe in yourself. Be bold to stand up for others. Be bold to articulate what is right. 
If our actions are bold enough, change will follow.

I would like to impress upon others that you should never ‘get used to’ to anyone speaking to you with such disrespect. It can take years to undo that kind of impact on your self esteem.

There are also lessons to be learnt from these experiences too. Never too late. You certainly wouldn’t emulate that kind of behaviour yourself. You definitely don’t allow that kind of behaviour to perpetuate.

This young woman will some day be a great team leader and role model for other women. It is our responsiblity to ensure that they believe in themselves to be that, so that they can go on with encouraging other women to be the same. I was shocked that for someone with such a vibrant and can do personality to feel that way. I took it upon myself to point out all the reasons why she shouldn’t be and should never be ‘used to it.’

As the parent of three children who will one day be the shining examples of tomorrow, I want them all to be bold for change. To be the change themselves and to be the change in others.

Happy International Women’s Day.

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