The here and now and a bit of way back then

I relived my journey to 40 and found there's so much more to say

So did Life Begin After 40?

on August 27, 2015

Already it’s been a year and two weeks since I Embraced 40. Two years and 15 days since I started writing this blog. I can hardly get my head around the fact at how fast this last year went by. My Mum is so right as I remember when I asked her if she was excited about her Birthday coming up, she must have been in her early fifties at the time, and she said that Birthdays came around so fast, ten years felt like no time at all. Can you imagine being told that at the age of 11? The idea that a whole decade would feel like no time at all was just unthinkable when mere weeks dragged their heels and you couldn’t wait for the next good thing happen.

Of course, I still enjoy waiting for the next good thing to happen. It’s just that inbetween each good thing there are so many dull things you have to do and then you worry that there’s just not enough time to do all the good things.

That is exactly how I feel some days. What if I run out of time to do all the good things I want to do. And think about all the days and nights I’ve wasted on things that were just inconsequential. And how perhaps I’m now slightly better at doing just the good things. Who am I kidding, of course I’m not. I think I need another two decades to really reach that stage. Just the other day, someone I know asked me, “Are you still having to waste your time on that?”, I won’t tell you who said it about the that but it did make me smile and they will know who they are.

So one minute I was giddily Embracing 40 and then it was like 41 is calling and 41 makes Embracing 40 so much more official. I guess extending Embracing 40 celebrations for three months also helped to speed up the journey to 41. Plus spending seven weeks in the UK and filling it to the brim of so many people I hadn’t seen for three years and eating all the foods I’d missed out on too. Such a brilliant seven weeks people of the UK!

One of the things I had pondered before Embracing 40 was the notion that ‘Life Begins at 40’ that you often see on balloons, banners and cards associated with this landmark occasion. Does it really? But how? What would significantly change?

I know people who had a bucket list of things to do before Embracing 40 and I’m sure they probably did achieve all the things they set out to do. I could have written myself such a list but I didn’t, I may think of a bucket list at some point though. What should I do? What would you do? I like to have thoughts like that but equally if I think of all the places I would like to go to and all the books I would like to read, I think I may just get upset that the truth is we may find it’s just not possible to do everything.

I listened to Sir David Attenborough on Desert Island Discs in 2012, I think it must have been his third time on the show, (which I love and I’m still contemplating my list). In it, there is a reference to all the far flung places he’s been to and all the amazing sights he’s seen. There’s a throwback to a previous show where he talked about an ambition to climb Everest I think it was, or even just to get to base camp and he’s asked whether he ever achieved that. He replies No and now probably never would because of his age and I found that incredibly sad, even though he had done so much already.

And I think that’s what makes some of us embrace a milestone Birthday with such vigour. The very real idea of how fast time flows and how we take stock and freak out a little at how much we have done and how much more we want to do. Perhaps not all of us feel that way but sometimes there’s a real need to achieve more. Is it because we see on social media what everyone else is doing? All the places they are going to, the activities they’re involved with and does it make us question ‘Are we doing enough?’. Or perhaps why aren’t we doing more. I find social media a joy and a blight. As I’m sure most of us do at various times.

I think my Thirties were such a whirlwind of life changing events such as getting engaged, getting married, moving to the other side of the world and then becoming a parent that suddenly Embracing 40 was just there and I wasn’t sure what more Life there was to Begin after 40! I was very confused. But consider how easy going our Twenties were and how frenetic our Thirties became. What more could Embracing 40 bring? Well I think this next decade, the remaining eight years of it, will be a rollercoaster of activity, especially with #1, 2 and 3. And the irony of it all is that during this time, they will feel that time is passing by ever so slooooowly.

So how did I celebrate Embracing 40 (Plus 1)? Or 35 (Plus 6) according to Elbear who has only just Embraced 40 herself. I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know that celebrations were complete after four days this time. My Birthday was spent in my new place of Gainful Employment. #1, 2 and 3 gave and took back my cards and presents and opened them themselves. I got hideously intoxicated on martinis with my great group of female friends, I spent the next day hideously hungover. Husband and I went out for posh dinner at a place where you almost felt unable to order anything off the menu it was so expensive. Seriously.

And yes you did read correctly. I have a new place of Gainful Employment which is a post all to itself. For the first time in seven years I was celebrating a Birthday in Gainful Employment. I had forgotten how much fun it can be to have your Birthday be all about you. Celebrating it with lunch at a place for Grown Ups, having a Birthday sing song, cake and lots of people wishing you good things all day long.

What else have I done since Embracing 40? Well, it’s been well documented that I’ve tried to get back into running regularly again which has been so much fun! Even in hot, sweaty, tropical Singapore. I write my blog but not as often because sometimes I’m just busy doing other stuff. And yet writing my blog has become one of those things that I have to keep doing. It feels weird now not to.

So I guess for me, it’s not so much that Life Begins at 40 but more so I’m restarting many things I did before and adding it to all things I’ve been doing. So I guess this is why I was asked about whether I’m making use of my time doing good things because there is only so much time and so many opportunities to do the good things that you really shouldn’t spend it on the rubbish stuff. For now we realise the value of our time and time spent wisely is rarely wasted at all.
Life evolves I find and it’s how good are you at adapting to it.


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