The here and now and a bit of way back then

I relived my journey to 40 and found there's so much more to say

Welcome back Brilliant New Adventure!

on April 27, 2014

Well actually she’s gone again. But for two fabulous weeks we had the company of Brilliant New Adventure. It was so so good to see her as you can imagine.

Not only for me but for #1, 2 and even 3 who wasn’t yet one when they left just seven months ago. Gather all of them together and it was like no time had passed at all. The excitement of the children over our first reunion lunch together was hilarious. It was like someone had released the Pause button. But then that’s how children live isn’t it? In the immediate here and now. Something worth reminding our adult selves.

As I watched this little playgroup reunited and the pure joy they have for each other, I felt quite reassured that perhaps they will always have one another. With #3 on the vertical move and throwing her weight around it was quite funny to see the shock on the face of son of Brilliant New Adventure. ‘Whatever happened to the baby?’. Well she’s quite the grown up toddler now. I wondered whether she would be shy around her 教母 but actually she threw herself right in the middle of things as if she’d never been away.

Where once we would pop down the road to their house for play dates, it felt like we ought to be out doing more in Singapore now that they’re ‘visitors’. So we went to the River Safari, I still prefer the Singapore Zoo as I can’t really distinguish one fish from another but I do so love the red pandas and the giant pandas as does Brilliant New Adventure. However, trying to keep all four quiet whilst we went to see them was quite tricky but then I was told that I made the most noise with my shushing!

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The last time we visited the River Safari was with Nana Moon back in December 2013. #2 wasn’t quite tall enough to go on the boat ride then. She still wasn’t tall enough this time either by just 2cm and it was heartbreaking to see the sadness on her face as she watched the others go whilst we had to sit and wait. She lay herself dramatically across a bench and looked so dejected that I just don’t think we can go back until 2cm have gone by. Or I allow her to wear her Princess dress up shoes outdoors.

You may recall, though she may prefer you don’t, that Brilliant New Adventure embraced 40 last December and one of my regrets at the time is that we were not there to help her celebrate. However, I’ve come to realise that if you have the heart to do something, it can be done at any time and still be meaningful. So we were only four months late but it gives good meaning to ‘surprise’ party with #1, 2 and 3 bearing cupcakes, candles and their gift for someone very special in their lives to let her know that we remember she is 40. Ha ha!

And life has begun again at 40.

We know there are opportunities all around us. Some of them we should be open to and some we know we shouldn’t. Some we need to be brave to take up and some we need to go and find.

I’m not at all surprised that Brilliant New Adventure has very quickly put in place the makings of a new life in Hong Kong. She has always shown strength and resilience in the face of other challenges so why not this too. Especially when it comes down to looking after one’s own happiness. At the very beginning of this, my sadness was down to why it had to be so and not over whether I doubted she would flourish with this new life.

There are lessons to be learnt all the time. From our own experiences and that of others. I feel a little bit wiser today than I did before because of someone else’s good grace and dignity.

For some time I felt rageful and upset on behalf of Brilliant New Adventure and often thought of how many ways there could be to tell someone what a nob and fool they were. I came up with some rather inventive suggestions. Yet these will never be aired because as advised by Brilliant New Adventure, what exactly would it achieve? Indeed, what exactly could it achieve.

Sometimes when you can volley back an immediate riposte there is some satisfaction to be gained rather than kicking yourself five minutes after the moment has passed having just thought of a witty response. But clinging on to words for a long length of time serves no purpose, bears no meaning and takes up a part of your soul that could be filled with much better thoughts.

As #2 is a true super fan of Frozen, I often hear the words ‘Let it go, let it go’ every day. It’s worth heeding this advice. For if she can let go then so can I because there is so much more to think about.

So much more exciting stuff! So much more fun to be had! So many opportunities to explore that can really be explored. There are people to meet and places to go.

Where once we just talked about going out for drinks, we now must take the chances when they present themselves. How strange in five and a half years to go out together for the first time after dark. So strange in fact, we couldn’t locate the bar at first. How much longer it’s been since we’ve had a drink together.

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On the one hand I do miss Brilliant New Adventure just as much as ever. I thought I was doing so well not to shed a tear. Until I started writing this. I wish I was a much less sentimental sop.

But on the other hand, there is so much to look forward to. I apparently haven’t lived properly without going out after dark in Hong Kong to places my Dad, Mr Li will no doubt say I can’t go to. I have never sampled the night life of Hong Kong ever. Something Brilliant New Adventure can hardly believe. I imagine by the time I get to Hong Kong she’ll be quite in the know of the places I have to go.

So you see, out of all this, it’s not just one person that gets to go on a brilliant new adventure. There’s no looking back anymore. The past is in the past.

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