The here and now and a bit of way back then

I relived my journey to 40 and found there's so much more to say

So begins a Brilliant New Adventure

on September 21, 2013

Tomorrow marks the start of a Brilliant New Adventure for my friend
formerly known as Unexpected Adventure. You already know how I feel
about her leaving Singapore when I first mentioned this was going to
happen in my post ‘Live the life you have always dreamed of’ and so I
will try my hardest not to go back along that path.

Brilliant New Adventure has made it quite clear that there is to be no
long, drawn out teary Goodbyes because it’s not like she’s never
coming back to Singapore to see, not just myself, but all her other
wonderful friends who have been a pillar of support for her these last
few months.

It’s this brave, fresh attitude that makes me admire and love Brilliant New
Adventure and for this reason I think the least I can do is continue
to cheer her along the way rather than mope over the fact she’s not just down
the road, free for that impromptu coffee or play date with the kids.

Another lesson Brilliant New Adventure has taught me is how to conduct
myself with dignity. She has held herself together with such good
grace and decorum given the circumstances under which she has found
herself in. You won’t be seeing her any time soon on the Jeremy Kyle
Show advocating the cutting up of designer menswear or posting cryptic
tweets and photos on Instagram as the ‘victim’. Call her crazy, in
fact I believe some undesirable people are, but I think it’s something to applaud
when our hearts have been hurt we can avoid that first instinct
of lashing out to make ourselves feel better even when humiliating
things happen beyond our control. It doesn’t make her a pushover
either. It’s just that despite everything she recognises her own self
worth and has decided quite simply, more fool you for being so blind
not to see it and I think double fool you for thinking you could play
her for a fool.

This afternoon as we enjoyed our first solo drinking outing together
(ironic really on her last day in Singapore when we had talked about
such an outing for years), and tucking into some excellent sushi at
Shinji, Raffles Hotel. I tried to enjoy the experience for the
exquisite, gourmet extravaganza it was meant to be and the sushi
really was quite something. But there’s a Chinese saying that goes
like this ‘when your heart and mind is troubled then the most amazing
feast is tasteless’. I wasn’t feeling quite as low as that but I
avoided one teary outburst in full view of our sushi chef and other
diners by making a quick exit to the washroom. So they probably
thought something hadn’t agreed with my constitution instead. The
second time I wasn’t so lucky after again failing miserably to retain
any level of dignity and sobbing into my yuzu sorbet at the thought of
no impromptu coffee or play dates with the kids next week or the week
after. To top it all off, I nearly snotted on my special occasion posh
bag too.

Brilliant New Adventure said she didn’t want to cry and get puffy eyes in case she bumped into her favourite Korean ‘hottie’ at Hong Kong International Airport. She had also thought better of plying me with too much sake as she suddenly had me sussed for being a ‘I love you’ type of drunk. How did she guess?

Whether you know her or not; or whether you are making any kind of
change yourself that takes courage and a leap of faith, let’s give a
big cheer because the tears are done. I’m ready to be the friend
waving the cheerleading pompoms high in the air and give it some ‘You
go girl’ high fives because actually, I’m only the one sitting here
tapping away to you and not the one about to embark on an unplanned,
unexpected but Brilliant New Adventure.

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