The here and now and a bit of way back then

I relived my journey to 40 and found there's so much more to say

From heels to there and back again

on August 20, 2013

It has been a day of 12 hour celebrations for #2 who has only just turned three which in her book is a very big number, little does she know. In all probability the 12 hour celebrations were perhaps a bit too much as even Husband and I are exhausted but I think #2 and #1 both had a great time. What is there not to love when you get to eat cake, ice cream, crepes and pizza all in one day? That’s almost a whole week’s worth of treats in a very short space of time so as #1 put it quite aptly, tomorrow will be a day of eating carrots.

I do admire the certainty of a two year old’s mind though because of course there would be presents and of course the presents would include Princess shoes and this jumbo Barbie car she had been eyeing up for some months. Ever since she came upon her Big Girl friend’s Princess shoes last October, she has been coveting them ever since and it was a promise of ours that she would be allowed a pair when she turned three. So the day has come and she is tottering around in a pair of blue Disney Cinderella Princess shoes. Her most favourite gift of all. Asides from the jumbo Barbie car which she opened just before bedtime.

I don’t even know where this obsession with Cinderella comes from as we have never read the story or watched the film but every time she came across a toy shop, she would sit and look at the shoes and sigh. I know that feeling though, looking on line at Net-a-Porter and seeing a pair of beautiful impractical and grossly overpriced shoes that even if I could afford would be a bit like #2’s Princess shoes and only ever be worn indoors. I love shoes. Typical of most females I know. At the moment I miss shoes. There seems little point indulging in a mass shoe wardrobe with small people to hoist around in tropical heat. However, as part of my ‘Important Things to Bring to Singapore’ are most of my good shoes collection, barely worn in almost 5 years. I do believe shoes play an important part of our history and symbolise a particular stage of our lives. There’s something about buying your first pair of ‘smart’ shoes’ which are a departure from your norm. Especially if they are for your first proper job, it’s a sign of moving on, gaining some responsilbity and most importantly having to look respectable for gainful employment which didn’t come naturally at first. I felt almost like #2 and her Princess shoes, playing at dressing up, at being a grown up but then you get used to them and your shoes become a reflection of your alter egos without delving too deep and they allow you to experiment without looking out of place.

So the good shoes collection are pleasing to look at but a pain to navigate in. Look at me walking in 4 inch heels because I work in an office and go out to smart drinking establishments. Before that the whole University era and slightly beyond consisted of navy Adidas campus trainers or shell toes. The need for practicality to get to places by walking and also for going out to the grungey, gunky floor drinking and bopping establishments. Slightly before that I think I may have owned three pairs of shoes before I went into freefall. One pair for school, one pair for going out, one pair of trainers and then a pair of winter boots. I think my brother still lives by this rule you know. Right now, I’m in a flat shoe, flip flops stage, mostly due to the hoisting of small people around but also because I have no need for other types of shoe and that made me feel a bit sad and missing my old self a bit. So earlier this year, I went out and bought a new pair of 4 inch shoes, black and white with a big red flower to the side. To me they are beautiful. I’ve worn them three times but every time I do, they make me smile because they remind me that I still can wear them and I feel good in them. So people may mock someone’s love of shoes but actually I think the shoes we walk in everyday are a huge reflection of where we are in our lives and I like to look at my shoe collection and remember why and where I’ve worn them before and also to think of when I may wear them again.



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